Desperado ~ I am Not Getting Younger

Aramis Thorn
4 min readFeb 10, 2019


Greetings Dear Reader,

“Desperado, oh, you ain’t gettin’ no younger…”

Every year passes the same way. Each grain of sand falls through the pinch of the present into the past piling up sands of another journey around the sun and toward home. My closest friend writes a creative birthday greeting that he sends to his friends each year:


As creation moves through its cosmic dance spinning ever to the One Song, the Uni-verse…We lift bowel and mug to toast your advent anniversary in the cosmic dance. Your presence in the journey makes the path more enlightened, less dreary, and infinitely intriguing. May you continue your steps in the dance with few missteps, magnificent partners, and feel the constant love of the Management’s approval. Dance on knowing that we bless, love, laud, and applaud you.

He sincerely desires that every person born knows how much he or she is loved. Even when he issues this kind greeting there are those who are resistant to it. As I complete another journey round the sun and increase my efforts to love others in the pinch, I realize just how fast the time slips through the glass. We find ourselves in that place where time flows so quickly but everything seems to take so long.

When we resist the love of others time stretches and diminishes all at once. Things that once distracted us from love lose their luster. The quiet hours are filled with thoughts of what we really wish for as we draw closer to home. Our longings gain stronger voice with deeper resonance. We understand that we are not getting younger long before our aches and pains tell us.

I likely have more years behind me than ahead of me. I know what I wish for when I celebrate Holy Days and Birthdays. They are simple. I know what I want others to do when I am gone. If I could have anything to celebrate my life it would be to have all of those I love around me at peace and free of pain, and knowing how deeply I love them without question or doubt.

It occurs to me that Jesus wants the same thing. He wants us to be with him, in harmony, at peace, and knowing the depth of the love he has for us. We long for this from him and yet we resist it. The core of it all is that we all both want and resist love. Jesus offers it but will not force it on us. He longs for us to love him but will not make us do it.

As this day begins I long for the love of Christ to reach every human. I long for those I love to believe that I love them deeply and for their hearts to be soft, not hard. I will close the day with my pipe and a potent potable. In that time, I will wish for a fire to sit beside and the company of my family. Like Jesus, I may have to wait until all things are brought back to good for that to be a reality. So instead of hearth and home I will greet tomorrow, the beginning of another year with taking the next step in the journey home, where the One who made me longs for me to be there far more than I yet understand.

I Sit Beside the Fire and Think — J.R.R. Tolkien — Performed by CamillasChoice

I sit beside the fire and think of all that I have seen,

Of meadow-flowers and butterflies in summers that have been

Of yellow leaves and gossamer in autumns that there were,

With morning mist and silver sun and wind upon my hair

I sit beside the fire and think of how the world will be

When winter comes without a spring that I shall ever see

For still there are so many things that I have never seen,

In every wood in every spring there is a different green

I sit beside the fire and think of people long ago,

Of people who will see a world that i shall never know

But all the while I sit and think of times there were before

I listen for returning feet and voices at the door

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, “That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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Originally published at on February 10, 2019.